Memories are a tricky subject for David Ambroz. He has no photo albums documenting his childhood, and no adults who he can ask about where he came from. He never marked the passage of time by holidays or school years, and his height was never measured on a wall in the kitchen of a home. Instead Ambroz and his family moved in and out of apartments and homeless shelters and lived a life of poverty, violence, and instability wherever they turned.

On this episode of Paternal, Ambroz discusses a childhood spent battling hunger on the streets of New York, why women largely carry the burden in the cycle of poverty while men are nowhere to be found, and what it will take to encourage more middle class families to become foster parents.

Even before his third birthday, Chris Ballew was transfixed by music. He would sit on the floor in his parents’ Seattle-area home and listen to The Beatles’ seminal 1967 album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, and not long after he was writing and performing his own songs. By the mid-90s he was fronting the Presidents of the United States of America - one of the hottest bands in rock'n'roll - and appearing regularly on MTV. But he was quietly harboring a secret: “On a gut level, I wanted out immediately.”

On this episode of Paternal from 2020, Ballew looks back at his early experiences with fame, and examines the instinct that led him to leave modern rock behind to take on a new stage presence: celebrated children’s musician Caspar Babypants.

Steve Leder is a husband, father, bestselling author and, as the senior rabbi at Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles, one the most influential religious leaders in America. During his 35 years at Southern California’s oldest synagogue he has proven to be something of an expert in the human experience, and overseen not just regular services at the temple, but also countless weddings - including that of his friend and Academy Award winning screenwriter Aaron Sorkin - and his fair share of funerals, of which he has performed more than a thousand in his career. Not bad for the son of a junkman from Minnesota.

Back in early 2018, Jason Kander was riding high as one of the brightest young stars in American politics. After becoming the youngest statewide elected official in the nation and nearly toppling a Republican incumbent for a U.S. Senate seat from his native Missouri, Kander was invited to meet with Barack Obama, where the former president personally encouraged Kander to one day consider his own run for the White House, telling Kander, “You have what I had. You’re the natural.”

But Kander’s public presidential aspirations were derailed by anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, and eventually crippling bouts of shame as he finally confronted his diagnosis of PTSD, and he quietly wished he could be a better husband to his wife, Diana, and better father to his son, True.

Jesse Thistle is an assistant professor at York University in Toronto and an award-winning memoirist who wrote the top-selling Canadian book in 2020, but his success didn’t come easily. Prior to penning his celebrated emotional memoir From the Ashes, Thistle spent years struggling with issues of addiction and homelessness, a lifestyle he sees to some degree as the result of the absence of a father figure in his life. His own father was an addict and a thief who disappeared nearly 40 years ago, and no one has seen or heard from him since.

The new dads have spoken, and they want some help. So in honor of those men celebrating Father’s Day for the first time this year, Paternal welcomes back four favorite guests from the past to offer advice on how to survive those early days of parenthood, including what they did right, what they did wrong, and what lessons they learned in the process of becoming a father.

Guests on this special episode include New York Times chief theater critic Jesse Green, entrepreneur Jelani Memory, author Waubgeshig Rice, and journalist and screenwriter Chris Jones.

A number of years ago, the dean at the Honors College at Towson University in Maryland went on the prowl for ideas for new seminar courses at the college. Andrew Reiner wasted no time in offering an idea for a seminar on a subject that he says has become a compulsion in his life: Masculinity. What if the school offered a course where he could work with students to deconstruct our ideas around masculinity and what it looks like now for a new generation of college students, men and women?

After a particularly feverish Twitter rant in 2018 landed him an invite to write a guest opinion on boys and violence from The New York Times, Michael Ian Black had to ask one simple question: Are you sure you want me? After all, Black is best known as a sketch and standup comic, and a particularly snarky one at that. But he wrote the essay and it subsequently went viral, leading Black to eventually pen the 2020 memoir Better Man: A (Mostly Serious) Letter To My Son, which offers a candid take on his own boyhood, the death of his father, and why he’s concerned for his own son’s future.

Of all the guests on Paternal over the years, it’s safe to say that Akhil Sharma was the last guy who would have expected to appear on a podcast about fatherhood. Over the past three decades he carved out a nice life as an Ivy League educated investment banker, and then a successful writer and college professor. Fatherhood never really entered the equation because, in his mind, he was worthless when it came to what he could possibly teach a child.

For centuries, the ends of the Earth have captivated and courted the world’s bravest characters. The highest peaks of the Himalayas, the furthest depths of the oceans, and the poles, frozen pinpoints on opposite ends of the globe that still serve as two of the most ambitious destinations for a certain type of person you may have thought died out years ago: The explorers. On this replay of his Paternal episode from 2018, veteran explorer Eric Larsen discusses the conflict of being a leading-edge American explorer and an engaged father at the same time.

Award-winning research psychologist and professor Dr. Michael Addis returns to Paternal for the third in a series of special episodes examining various issues affecting men’s mental health. In this episode, Dr. Addis calls on his decades of research to break down the links between social learning and the social construction of masculinity, and why he considers masculinity a form of anxiety disorder for some men.

One world-renowned climber dies and leaves a widow and three young sons behind, and his climbing partner and best friend helps pick up the pieces by marrying the widow and helping raise a trio of boys who lost their father. Among the world’s mountaineers, climbers and explorers, the life and tragic death of Alex Lowe is nothing short of legend. But for Max Lowe - who was just 10 years old when his father died in an avalanche high in the Himalayas - it’s a complicated reality he’s dealt with for more than 20 years.

Daniel José Older was three years old when he caught his first glimpse of the characters who occupied the Star Wars galaxy, and he was so frightened he made a run for the exit of the movie theater. But Older - now a New York Times bestselling fantasy and sci-fi author - went back in, and his life has never been the same. Older is a lead story architect for Star Wars: The High Republic, a series of young adult and middle grade novels and comic books, and he’s keenly aware that most of the Star Wars characters, especially the most prominent male heroes, either have a strained relationship with their father, or simply don’t have a dad at all.

Mickey Rowe has made a career out of one simple motto: The world needs what makes you different. An autistic actor who started out as a street performer in Seattle but was never given speaking roles in the theater during his 20s, Rowe eventually earned the lead role in the theater adaptation of the Tony Award-winning play The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. In the process Rowe became the first autistic actor to play the demanding lead role of Christopher Boone, a teenager on the spectrum who is convinced he can solve the murder of his neighbor’s dog.

Author and teacher Brendan Kiely has spent years speaking to young adults about the difficult issues they might face in their teen years, and he’s in awe of the hope that lies within the next generation. But after seemingly endless recent incidents of police brutality against African-American men and the centuries of racism that came before, he’s writing for young adults about what it means to live with the benefits of white privilege. And he’s figuring out how to best start the same conversation with his young son.

Growing up on the Wasauksing First Nation indigenous reserve in Ontario, journalist and bestselling author Waubgeshig Rice learned early in his life about the value of culture and community. But as an Anishinaabe young man schooled in the challenges his ancestors faced as indigenous people in Canada, Rice was also keenly aware of what happens when a community loses its connection to its history, traditions and culture, and how men can easily fall victim to the effects of intergenerational trauma.

Award-winning research psychologist and professor Dr. Michael Addis returns to Paternal for the second in a series of special episodes examining various issues in men’s mental health, and the final episode of Paternal for 2021. In this episode, Dr. Addis discusses a variety of issues brought on by the holiday season, including anxiety, stress, loneliness, and why we create a mythology around the holidays that can be tough to live up to year after year.

Former Sports Illustrated and ESPN journalist Ivan Maisel spent the bulk of his life holding big emotions at bay, and turning to run at the first sign of emotional pain. It was behavior learned from years of watching his parents, who valued strength and stoicism in the face of tragedy, which Maisel himself successfully dodged for 55 years. Then his son Max went missing, and everything changed.

Documentary filmmaker and father Iain Cunningham knows all about the myths we like to tell ourselves about family. But he knows just as much about the details our parents sometimes leave out, and the impact those family secrets can have on children who never learn the truth. Cunningham’s mother Irene passed away when he was just three years old, and his family rarely spoke or shared memories of her for decades, leaving Iain to wonder what kind of person his mother was, and what exactly led to her death.

Journalist and filmmaker Omar Mouallem first learned he was Muslim when his mother scolded him for eating Hawaiian pizza during preschool. Over the past three decades he’s tried to make sense what exactly his faith means to him and how he identifies as Muslim as grown man and a father, punctuated with the release of his acclaimed 2021 examination of Islam’s role in the Americas, Praying to the West.